Stories and tidbits about my twin daughters and other things I find interesting. Parenting, technology, astronomy, music, environment and more.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
KESHA + STAR WARS Tik Tok Music Video Spoof!
Check out this video on YouTube:
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
A day in my life
11:00-12:00 - Pickup meds for Mom from pharmacy. Check on Mom. Arrange for wheelchair and pick it up. Go back to my home.
12:00-1:00 - Work and watch girls.
1:00 - Call from Mom that she is not doing well and needs some help. Call her doctor to get her in ASAP. Call attorney to cancel appointment. Pickup Mom and get her to doctor.
1:30-3:30 - Wait with Mom at doctor to make sure she gets feeling better. Take Mom to store for some groceries. Just the essentials: Vitamin Water, Coffee ice cream, and mouth wash. Take Mom to check on her cats and feed them. Get her settled back at home.
3:30-5:00 - Go to appraiser to get the finalized property documents for Mom and her brother. Call lawyer to find out about making a house call. Drop off additional documents with paralegal.
6:00-9:00 - Back home with my family (finally) and happy to be home. I don't spend enough time with them now. Even though it is dinner time, the girls are wanting to play, etc. I am working to catch up on the time I missed today. There is a 30 minute break for dinner, but then back on the laptop.
9:00-10:30 - Girls are in bed and the time I should be spending with Sarah to talk and enjoy some couple time, I am mostly spending on my laptop finishing work. In to bed between 10:30 and 11:00. At least I'm getting decent amounts of sleep.
This is not a-typical of what my days have been like this week. I'm not posting this to make anyone feel bad for me. I am using it as a way to document what is happening because it is all a blur. I know when this is all over, I won't really remember what happened during this part of my life. My uncle Doug told me something wonderful today, though - These moments, while they seem bad and stressful, provide certain golden moments with family. Like today when my mom got so much joy out of drinking the Vitamin Water. That was the best she's sounded in a week.
My mom has cancer
***
Okay, I am about to take a big risk in saying this. My mom has cancer. Terminal. It's something that I have debated for over a month whether I should go against her wishes to say anything. That is why some of you that I consider my closest friends do not know - she wants to be private. But I feel that I need to say something now before I burst. This is my catharsis. Plus, today is a good day so I feel that I am best equipped to deal with the emotions at this specific moment in time. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, or even tonight, or even what might change in an hour.
Another reason I am doing it this way is because it is to mentally and physically exhausting to tell each individual person. The roller-coaster of emotions is too much. I won't do it if I don't get started this way. There are certain people that I already called or told in person. I know a text about it is rather impersonal, but I trust you to understand.
I am at the hospital today helping her through a couple fairly minor procedures to get prepared for the chemotherapy and to relieve some pain she has now. She starts chemo on Monday, and we think that will give her a better quality of life for the time she has left. I have been high, low, and in between. Mostly, I'm mad. I'm pissed that my mom is only 67 and this is happening. I said a few weeks ago that I thought my mom would be working her garden, going up and down the hillside, for 20 years to come.
She's not gone yet, and I don't want it to sound like that. She may have many months, even over a year left. But in the last 3 weeks, if you looked inside my backpack, you would see medical books, a Last Will and Testament, trust documents, power of attorney, prescription drugs, a laptop, camera to document events, a notepad full of phone numbers, doctor names, drug names, appointment dates, etc. In a very real sense, I felt that if my backpack fell over and all the contents spilled out, it would be like seeing a black, oozing puddle of sludge pouring out. Negativity and depression and the signs of someone dying are inside my backpack. I carry death with me both physically and figuratively everywhere I go.
But then I look at the good things. I look at the fact that I'm spending more time with her now than I have over the past six months. And yes, while it shouldn't take death to bring us together, I'm glad we are doing it. We took the girls to Fairy Tale town two weeks ago. I am learning things about my family history and our story in a compressed amount of time that would have taken 20-30 years. I always knew how strong my mom was, and how stubborn, but now I get to see it in the ultimate way. She is facing her own mortality with courage, practicality, and humor where she can find it. And that is all good.
Having read this, don't feel sorry for me. I have Sarah and Sherri, I have my girls. I have everything I need to be just fine and come through this stronger on the other side. If you feel like telling me that you are sorry for me or my mom, that's fine. I appreciate it, but what I'd rather you did is spend that energy to help an animal shelter in your area. Volunteer, donate some time or money, help them get their animals adopted or cared for. That's what my mom would want.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Emily in her great grandpa's hat
Emily in her great grandpa's hat
Saturday, April 10, 2010
A real American breakfast
Friday, April 9, 2010
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Was in Davis and ran into someone I haven't seen since 1987! Maybe even longer.
Anyway, talk about a blast from the past. Really cool, but also sort of surreal.